So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
Randomize
