shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
Randomize
