OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
Randomize
