the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
Banned from zoo.
Again?
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
Randomize
