Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
Randomize
