you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
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