I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
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