I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
Randomize
