Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
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