I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
Randomize
