Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
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