worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
Randomize
