Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
Randomize
