hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
Randomize
