the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
Randomize
