i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
Having to grow a landing strip to cover the bruises from pole dancing. Thanks for the birthday present, but next time, maybe just a gift card?
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
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