i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
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