We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
foreskin is a definite game changer
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
Randomize
