Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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