I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
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