I will die if light touches me.
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
Lo siento on account of my penis...
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
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