my vag is so smooth its legendary
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
The adults are the big ones right?
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
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