i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
Randomize
