You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
I set the bag of cheetos on the open box on my coffee table while I was watching TV. I was so high I ate half of the styrofoam peanuts in the box by accident. Am I going to die?
I hope so
hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
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