i may or may not be watching the land before time
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
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