He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
I wish you could order shots online.
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
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