it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
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