Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
Randomize
