Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
and then I drunkenly screamed, "you can ride that Uber all the way to revenge city!"
which was funny until I realized I paid for my enemy's cab to go fuck my ex
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
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