My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
