i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
Randomize
