dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
Im just a social blackout drinker.
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
Randomize
