walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
Randomize
