it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
I need to align my fucking chakras
Randomize
