Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Randomize
