can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
Randomize
