Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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