i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
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