dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
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