i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
Randomize
