This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
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