I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
Randomize
