She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Randomize
