Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
my vag is so smooth its legendary
4 words: hood of his car
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
Randomize
