too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
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