just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
Randomize
