Dual....:-)
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
Randomize
