I was in the bathroom and heard my brother scream "YOU FAIL!!!", and I swear to GOD, I thought my penis was yelling at me.
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
either way he was missing a nipple.
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
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