What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
