She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
Randomize
