Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
Randomize
