i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
