ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
Of course I have a pirate flag
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
Randomize
