So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
the gays at disneyland are vicious
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
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